Letter To My Future Self
Dear future R,
I am writing to you from my bedroom in the family household. I had a rough night, the noise in my brain was loud again. Over the past couple of days, I figured I was finally feeling better. I was eager to tell my therapist about how I thought my mental state was improving. It turns out everything is the same. Thank goodness I don’t feel worse.. right?
I know it can be a rollercoaster navigating daily life with anxiety. Signs on improvement are never instant. There are plenty of things I want to do, but taking the next step is frightening every time. How did you get to where you are now? Because in this current time, existing in the world seems impossible.
It reassures me when I daydream about how you made it somewhere. I tend to think about how you’re pursuing your dreams. You are surrounded by people who genuinely love you and make time for you. You have a dog again, and are living in your own place. You’re still as healthy and active as ever. Is that at all accurate? Or am I romanticizing the future too much?
Sincerely, past R