I Am Burnt Out
I’ve been noticing my inner critic being louder when I do leisurely activities before work is finished. I have to give myself a proper break sometime. If I keep up the same routine/schedule every week, I know I’ll get burnt out. It’s been getting more difficult to mask my exhaustion.
These complicated emotions are too much. While being tired, I feel ashamed about wanting to step away from familiar routine. Hustle culture is to blame. I won’t get into that conversation tonight.
In fact, I have been trying to read more about burnout. I do see myself in some of the signs. Honestly, I’ve been wanting to get out of the house. Not just for errands, I mean an actual getaway. I haven’t left town in a long while.
My mom has suggested us and dad could camping when the season changes. Which sounds lovely in theory. Being out in nature, making meaningful family memories, and getting plenty of exercise. The thing is, I’ve never slept outside in a tent. The time we all did go camping, we stayed in a log cabin. I was really young back then so I don’t remember much else from the trip.
I get frightened just imagining having to sleep in a tent in the dark. I probably could have done it if our dog was still around. I know he’d been right next to me. I always slept better knowing he was nearby. Now I’ll have to do it alone if I choose to go.
I hope one day I’ll write an entry about how I conquered camping. I have to celebrate any win no matter how small.